I hesitated a long time before posting this. I kept it all quiet the first time, but now, I just don’t care anymore, because…what’s the point.
Two years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was told this week that the cancer was back, in my lungs and in my bones.
And this time, it’s terminal.
I’m 39 and I have from a few months to a few years to live. It’s very uncommon for people to live 5 years (less than 1%).
I am married. I have two children, who are 6 and 10. I’m never going to see them grow up, and my youngest might have few memories of me. The children are going to lose their mother, my husband is going to lose his wife. I feel like I am abandoning them, and that destroys my soul more than the fear of dying.
So at this point in time, my writing career, which until now had kept me sane in the ever present fear of the cancer returning, is a dream I’ll never be able to achieve.
I was writing my third book. I’m not sure I’ll ever finish it.
I will also never write the final volume of my series.
Maybe I will find my strength back after a while and manage to take each day as it comes, but at the moment, the thought of going through chemo again and through all the horrid, horrid pain both mental and physical, knowing that it might not even work and buy me some extra time, just saps all my optimism and energy.
So maybe this is my last post. Maybe not. But I am going to spend most of the time I have left with my family, rather than behind a computer.
Live your life to the full. Dare to live your dreams. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Because you never know what tomorrow is going to bring.
Since I’ve been trying to be more involved in social medias, I have noticed a few trends.
I’m young so I can wear a hat and look cool
The first one is that internet is dominated by the younger generation: if you’re under thirty, you were probably born with an electronic device in your hands. You can whizz through internet and computers alike with the nonchalance of a seasoned pro. Us older people (I’m in my thirties…and not for very long) are still figuring out the technicalities and getting used to expose ourselves on such a grand scale. Of course, I AM generalizing, but you can see my point.
Hence the second trend. The YA genre is exploding right now, its popularity driven by I believe, the young adults themselves who roam Goodreads, Twitter and the likes and heavily promote, write and enjoy this category. The fantasy genre is also very successful and appealing to them at the minute. All other genres, thrillers, mysteries, romance etc…aren’t as exposed. Even the erotica genre, which 50 Shades of Grey propelled in front of the masses, seem to run out of steam.
I do understand that like everything else in life, literature goes through fashionable cycles. The dystopian world is hot (Hunger games, Game of thrones), as is fantasy fiction (Harry Potter). Look at Goodreads Most popular books of 2016, you will find an overwhelming number of YA and fantasy.
The wolf isn’t a shifter. The bee on the flower is.
The majority of bloggers are also under 30, and will tend to pick and choose a story appealing to their age group. From here, two conclusions came to me.
Most readers (me included) tend to prefer a book where the main character is close to their own age. Me for example, I avoid any story involving a high school student, or an over 50 character, because they both are at a stage in their life which is harder for me to identify with, so I favour the 25-45 age group. I admit though, that I would rather opt for an older character than a younger one: the retiree over the university student.
What happens in social medias does not always apply to real life. Look at The best selling fiction of 2016, and you’ll find some recognizable names, the ones that have managed to pierce through the bubbles of YA (Girl on the train, After you) but also a plethora of titles I’ve never heard of. And YA/fantasy, besides Harry Potter, is nowhere to be seen.
So in all the noisy advice that us indie writers should “build our platform” within social medias, websites etc…it seems that unless you write a genre popular with the under 30’s, the task is going to be more difficult.
The young generation seem to be the most open to self-published authors and willing to give us a chance. Some of them will even agree to read and review a book that isn’t necessarily top of their best loved genres. I have to include each one of the bloggers who have reviewed my books: they are all young and FANTASTIC. I am ever so grateful to them.
The over 30’s, because they spend less time on the net, are harder to reach. Those will prefer buying their books in a bookstore, will visit the library more often, and will also favour the traditionally published books.
Are you saying I don’t look cool with my hat?
I believe the gap isn’t as wide as it used to be, and more and more “oldies” (oh dear, I AM one O.0) are broadening their horizons and taking the plunge at creating their own blogs, or searching through social medias to find the elusive literary pearl they wouldn’t have heard of before otherwise. And as the 20 year-old readers and writers of today turn 30, they will bring forward their values with them.
I hope the young generation will carry on reading, writing, blogging, and browsing in their 40’s.
And I hope the older generation will carry on opening themselves to the new literary world developing in front of them.
Of course I have generalized people’s behaviour. But I would love to hear from you, as a reader, or as a writer. What prevalent trends have you noticed yourselves?
I’ve been writing for over a year and a half now and I have learned a few truths about the craft that haven’t been raised in the many blogs and articles I’ve read. So for all the budding writers out there, here is a preview of what’s to come.
Writing a book will take longer than you think
If you’re an average human, your free time is limited. Between juggling your job, going to school, looking after your children, nurturing your friends, running a household, getting on top of your homework, shopping, appointments, club activities…writing takes second place. When you can at last put your butt on a chair and type away, it’s bliss. Words seem to trickle at first, then the flow increases until you reach the zone, where ideas fly and your concentration is absolute. You could write for another eight hours straight. You can’t. Because five minutes after you enter the zone, it’s time to go to work, or to school, or to bed, because it’s 1am and you have to get up early the next day.
Your masterpiece will take three times as long as you imagine to finish it.
And that’s just the first draft.
You’ll become obsessed with some verbs
Regardless of the usual is/are and has/have, you’ll notice that the same verbs will pop into your mind whenever they fit into a sentence and you’ll have to force yourself to think of synonyms or rewrite the sentence to avoid repetition overload. For me, those words are offer, display, place, rest, retrieve and pull.
The Google synonyms tool will become your best friend
I use it. All. The. Time. You’ll recognize every single word and will cringe for not thinking of them by yourself.
Many readers are fickle and opportunistic
Unless you’re traditionally published, some will expect your book to cost less than a quarter of a cup of coffee but provide a HarperCollins quality cover and story. Your book will be downloaded mostly when it’s free, and participants of a giveaway will never read your book because they were only interested in free stuff. Don’t expect a gazillion reviews (good or bad) for your book either. Bloggers are drowning in requests and the average reader will not post anything.
Harsh, isn’t it? Thankfully though, there will be some who will recognize your hard work and will enjoy your style. The hardest part will be how to reach them, when the market is overflowing with so many book offers.
Also, treat the bloggers who agree to read and review your book like precious gems because what they do is hard work too. Being chosen by them is a privilege, not a given.
You will envy every author
Not just the rich and famous writers. But anyone. You’ll read an article about how Mrs X has won a deal with a publisher and you’ll envy her. You’ll hear about a ditzy celeb who wrote her memoirs and you’ll envy her. You’ll see the great ratings on a new author’s Goodreads page and you’ll envy him.
I’ve yet to meet an arrogant author, so I guess we’re all in the same boat.
I wish it helped.
You will take bad reviews personally
Okay, this one might just be me. But expect the honest words of a reader/beta reader who didn’t like your book for whatever reason to sting and hurt and make you think of giving up the entire thing. I’ve read that after a few bad reviews, you learn to grow a tough skin. You won’t. So be warned.
You’ll follow the advice given by others. Then you’ll follow your own rules
The internet is full of advice. For example, authors are supposed to write every day. They’re supposed to follow a tried and tested plot line, avoid adverbs and -ing words. They have to show and never tell. They mustn’t ask friends or family to beta read or give their opinion. They must be present on all the Social Medias in the universe and create their platform.
The advice might be great when you start as it provides you with some useful tools, but in time, you won’t beat yourself up anymore for not writing at 5am every day. You might find that your best friend is more insightful than an unknown beta reader. You’ll realize that social medias are overtaken by millions of wannabes with the same goal as yours. So you’ll swallow the initial dejection and will just concentrate on enjoying the few friendly people you’ll meet along the way. As for adverbs, repetitions etc…you’ll notice them in every published book and will smile each time you do.
What have you learnt yourself that you hadn’t expected?
Books can have two different endings: one with an epilogue, which will details a far future, or one without, which will remain in the present, or the near future at most.
What I like about epilogues
You don’t have any questions left, everything gets answered. You know what happens to the main protagonists years down the line, what colour their new cat is and how their career and personal lives have progressed. Sometimes, you even get details about side characters. I appreciate this too, because I tend to have a soft spot for side characters.
There is no confusion about the ending. Sometimes, the author will leave an open or unclear ending, which readers can interpret differently. With an epilogue, there are no arguments possible.
It provides closure. The story is all finished, all wrapped up, so it makes it easier to move onto another one. The satisfaction factor is high.
It can give you a glimpse or opening onto the next book, if it is a series, and wet your appetite.
What I don’t like about epilogues
The lack of mystery. I like to be able to imagine what happens in the future of a character I love. It allows me to remain in the world created by the author for longer, as I ponder on all the possibilities.
I might not like the future described in an epilogue. Let’s be honest, we all have our tastes, preferences and ideas on what should happen to a character down the line. If the epilogue doesn’t fit what you had imagined, it is a cruel blow.
Some epilogues are pointless. Need I say more?
The epilogue cliffhanger. No. Just no. I cannot stand cliffhangers, unless the next book is available already. And even then, you’ll hear me groan.
The story is wrapped up, and my journey with the characters is finished. Epilogues can make me a little melancholic at the idea of saying goodbye to characters I have loved.
In conclusion, I would say that I like epilogues, as long as they are useful and flawless. I don’t even mind the all singing, all dancing cliché where everyone lives happily ever after, but it needs to show that the author has worked on it as much as on the rest of her/his story. Lazy epilogues ruin everything.
What’s your view on epilogues? Love ’em or hate ’em?
I’m in a romantic mood today, so I thought I’d talk about real life love encounters.
My own story first:
I met my husband in a hotel in Ireland, where I was working as a waitress. He arrived a few weeks after I did, as a chef. He went out with another girl there first and as soon as they broke up about a month later, he started dating me. So I was the rebound girl, or at least I thought I was. Neither of us were looking for long term love, but life had other plans, since 16 years later we’re married and we have two children!
For the anecdote, we gave our kids Irish names 🙂
I love my grand-parents love story:
My granddad was from a rich and influential family who owned lots of land in their area. As the eldest, my granddad was set to inherit big, so when he started seeing my grand-mother, who was from a modest family, his family turned against him and my grand-ma. My granddad followed his heart though and he married the girl he loved, despite the inheritance being withdrawn from him. They had 14 kids, and my grand-mother never re-married after his premature death at 54 🙂
A friend of mine met her husband at sixteen, at school. He was her first and only love, as they are now married with four children. They actually tied the knot early, when she was twenty-one, and I remember thinking “wow, she’s my age, and she’s a wife already!”
My sister-in-law also married her first love.
My mother’s sisters married two cousins. Might as well keep it in the family, right?
Another aunt was pursued by two brothers. She admitted she chose her now husband because he was the tallest of the two lol.
Married or not, how did you meet your other half? Let me know in the comments 🙂
I’ve noticed that many reviews for books included pictures of what the reader imagined the characters to look like. Because after all, besides general details such as hair and eye colour, indication of build, and other obvious characteristics (freckles, beer belly etc…), it is difficult to describe someone to reach a consensus. Try and write about a blue-eyed, dark haired, slender woman, and some will visualize Katy Perry, others Zooey Deschanel, Megan Fox, or that unknown woman on the internet. Those women don’t look alike in real life. In books, they can be one and the same.
That unknown woman
With some books, it’s fun to associate a true picture to a written face. It helps with making a character feel more realistic and within reach. I’ve found myself both as author and reader, scouring the internet to find the perfect representation of those characters in my head. Scrolling through hundreds of faces, until I found the one that fits. It’s strangely satisfying.
But because we all have our personal picture of what a character should look like, when a book is turned into a movie, the chosen actors rarely fit the bill. Sometimes, we can’t quite put our finger on why, but we know the face isn’t right, and it can spoil the entire film. Hence why I think people are usually disappointed by a book made into a movie, even if the plot has been respected.
And then there are books, most books in fact, where I don’t really visualize anyone. I know that said character has curly black hair and is thirty, but the picture remains blurry. It doesn’t spoil the story at all. Even when a character has a distinctive feature such as a stutter or a missing arm, I will “forget” about it. Which proves to me that I don’t need a real picture to appreciate a book.
In this day and age where internet is easily accessible and where faces from all around the world can be found at the touch of a button, it spurs on a lot of readers to search for the perfect real-life portrait of their favourite characters. But at the end of the day, I think it’s all just a bit of fun.
Do you look for pictures that fit your favourite literary hero/heroine? Or maybe your imagination is detailed enough to satisfy you? Or do characters remain blurry in your mind?
So after a long break, I am finally back, both on internet and in my writing. I’m not sure how the writing will fare after such a long pause, but I re-read some of the first draft of my third book, and I found it easier than I expected to throw myself back in this world. We’ll see how it goes 🙂
Anyway, I wanted to start this new term (kids are back to school today too!) with a list of those websites that I visit regularly, for various reasons. Who knows, you might discover some interesting ones you didn’t know about.
http://lolasreviews.com/ I had to start with a website related to books of course, and this one is a gem. Lola is a book reviewer, blog tour owner, author adviser, accomplished cook and a brilliant blogger. Her site is so interesting to read, so well presented and polished, with various sections to keep the site fresh. She engages with her readers in a very interactive way, and her friendliness shows through each of her posts. I’m in awe of her professionalism and clear experience in the blogging/books world.
https://tarasparlingwrites.com/
Another blog related to books. This one is from an author who writes funny, sometimes provocative posts. She never hesitates to tell it like it is, and has a fun, truthful insight of the book world. I love reading her posts. Her series of the “which fictional character are you”, based on clichés found in every genre, is hysterical and a must-read.
https://www.facebook.com/FowlLanguageComics/ This one is for parents, because every little picture relates to our troubles – in both sense of the term. Brian depicts the parental world in such a realistic and hilarious way, you can’t help but shout with your finger pointed at the screen: “yes, yes, so true!”. If you don’t have any kids yet, this will show you what to expect when you do 😉
http://bombcosmetics.co.uk/ One for the girls mostly, since this is basically Lush, in a cheaper and way cuter than their counterpart. They present their soaps and bath bombs, candles etc…in various shapes of cupcakes, whoopie pies, animals etc…Every time I use them, it breaks my heart a little as they are so pretty to look at (those swirls…hmmm). As far as I am aware, they are only in Europe for now, and I don’t know if they deliver to the US.
http://www.mail2web.com/cgi-bin/login.asp I use this site a lot because my own e-mail provider is very unreliable. With mail2web, I can check my e-mails even if my e-mail provider’s site is down. Very useful.
http://veggiedesserts.co.uk/
I’m a big fan of vegetables in desserts, because not only are they healthier (that’s what I tell myself), but they also remain softer for longer. Kate gives her recipes both in UK and US values. Worth a look.
http://theenglishkitchen.blogspot.co.uk/
Photos galore that will make you salivate…Marie has absolutely thousands of recipes, which might not please the health conscious, but will delight the rest. Home cooked food at its best, and its yummiest. Marie is a Canadian gal who came to England in 2000, so her recipes can be cooked by people living on both sides of the Atlantic.
http://mangaonline.to/
Yes, I read mangas. The artwork has to be flawless and mature, just like the storylines, though I do read some cute, light-hearted, silly stories too. I have a weakness for Yuki Yoshihara and Kaori Yuki.
Now this site is not the best for its rubbish search option (Mangafox has the most efficient one), but the reading here is the most convenient, as you don’t have to click for a new page after each…well, page. On Mangaonline, you just scroll down. Perfect!
http://mikhila.com/
My favourite beauty blogger. Why? Because she made her name as “missbudgetbeauty”, as in, she’s not going to review those big expensive brands that I simply cannot afford. Too many bloggers are guilty of showing only expensive products, and Mikhila, as a young Mum, knows where to find value for money.
Have you got any interesting, not so well known, websites to recommend?
I will hopefully resume my writing and my internet presence after the summer holiday. I’m still dealing with some family issues, so it won’t be full on as family is more important, but a bit of escape is no bad thing.
Find the Kindle version or the Paperback version on Amazon. Both versions should be available at other retailers (Barnes&Noble, Kobo etc…) within 24 hours.
Synopsis:
The Spirits of Saoradh, who carry the guilt of a crime they committed when they were alive, now spend their ghostly days in the Void, dark nothingness where time and space are distorted. Until they get bound to a human. As often as needed, that human can call them to the real world, ask them to grant a wish, then send them back to the Void. The Spirits also have to follow strict rules or be punished, unaware that they can earn their redemption through a selfless sacrifice.
Spirit Logan despises the obedience he has to show to his humans, and prefers the enjoyable solitude of the Void. For three years, he has managed to threaten them into severing their bond, thus having his memory wiped of their existence. Except his latest human, an emotionless woman with a secret past, isn’t scared of him. Worse, she doesn’t care about his ability to make wishes come true.
Tessa, a twenty-six-year-old nursery teacher in Fort William, Scotland, doesn’t expect a sullen ghost only she can see and touch to burst through her solid defences. Both dismayed and intrigued, she offers Logan a deal he can’t refuse: to live with her in the human world for one week, at the end of which she will agree to release him.
Slowly, Tessa braves through the safety of her detachment towards people to show Logan some kindness. But the more her feelings deepen, the more Logan increases his distance…
When I was revising my novel, I realized that I used a few swear words. Okay, a fair lot. They come mostly from my male characters, when they’re furious or anxious.
But what’s funny, is that in real life, I hate swearing. I tell my children off should they drop the F bomb by mistake or say any other rude word. It doesn’t happen often, since they know my view on this. My six-year-old even remarks on people who swear, whether on telly or in the street “they said a naughty word, Mummy”.
I don’t swear myself (or I have to be in a really, really bad mood, and even then I feel bad after I said it.)
So why do I use those words so readily in my writing?
I have pondered about that for a while. And the only thing that came to mind, was how in putting myself in the shoes of a character, I see them talk this way. Not all my characters swear. Some would be mortified to, like the real me.
But the ones who do use offensive language, are the ones who let their emotions fly right in your face. The ones who can’t care less what people think of them, or the ones who lose it and let the words come out without restriction.
I remember the first time I read JR Ward, and her Black Dagger Brotherhood series. I don’t know if the curses are still rife since I gave up on the series after Lover at Last, but I was shocked at the amount of bad language at first. Then of course, I fell into the world of those larger than life vampires, and suddenly those profanities melted and mixed in with the overall atmosphere. They still appeared on the page, but they didn’t jump at me anymore.
It helps that my target audience is adults. If I was writing YA, I would draw back on those words, not because the characters wouldn’t fit the profile of someone not using them (teenagers not swearing? Riiiight), but because I’d rather not bombard a twelve year old with curses. Call this the motherly instinct in me.
And what about the characters’private parts? To me, one of the most difficult choice to make. What do you call those things, without falling into the overly vulgar, sickly sweet or childishly funny trap?!
I’ve noticed I use more offensive terms for men’s anatomy than I do women. But I have yet to find words that don’t sound too clinical, graphic or unsexy, to use outside of a sex scene. A happy medium of sort, when I want to show that the..*cough*…womb raider…is happy to see the heroine for the first time, for example. Know what I mean? I can’t always use “himself”, “between her legs”. Sometimes, I need a specific word to vary my sentences, and nothing like Veinous Maximus or Tampon Tunnel (ewwww!).
I’ve been writing for over a year and a half now and I have learned a few truths about the craft that haven’t been raised in the many blogs and articles I’ve read. So for all the budding writers out there, here is a preview of what’s to come.
I’m in a romantic mood today, so I thought I’d talk about real life love encounters.
Caroline Cairn 